Saturday, May 07, 2005
well...what can i say. horrible week
disgusting really.
the stressedness
not fun
really not fun.
it all started...with my blasted computer. i swear if i didnt need it it would be lying in shattered pieces with a deranged me standing over it with an axe laughing hysterically. i have...issues....with computers. its mutual. believe me...it's mutual. anyways..first my stupid computer decides it wants to assign me a password, one being something i really doubt i would have put in since i generally only use one or two(knowing i'd forget) even tho i know it isnt really safe. smheh i say. well i tried all the nonsensical things i could think of, which all didnt work so i couldnt get into my computer. so...mildly panicking by this point i ask poor mingdao(who had to contend with a very stressed housemate this week) who made some suggested that unfortunately didnt work. then i go online(on his computer, duh..) and ask poor matt and scott, who i turn to for all this kind of stuff cos they seem to actually know about it. and i find out i probably have to re-install windows, possibly losing my files. so i re-install windows, prancing back and forth between our rooms as i talk and try to figure out how to work the silly thing. thank you God it worked, and i didnt lose my files. but still...fairly stressful. then, i borrow 13 humongous books on the great barrier reef cos I had a 2000 word assignment due on fri. except I have no idea how to write a geog essay, much less on sustainability(human geog not being one of my fav subjects so don't ask me why I'm even doing this stupid course). So, that keeps me occupied the whole week(during which the computer thing happens) and on thurs, another wonderful computer literate person comes over to try to figure out why my spasticated network card doesn't work and I cant use the internet(hence having to use poor mingdao's computer) thank you God again, he sort of fixed it, tho it's still really temperamental and just decides to konk out on me when I'm having important conversations or doing important geog assignments... So...stay up all thurs night working on my assignment (interesting how working and thinking through the night is so much more tiring than just staying up with friends or reading a book. Guess ur brain just sucks up the glucose hey...) anyways, fri. get to uni, do a bit of my assignment, planning to go for a chem lecture since what was being taught was physics related so I had no idea what anything meant. Thinking about chem. And where my lecture was...plus what day it was...and I go...CMT!!!! Which is a computer managed test which we have to do for chem., where basically u have a take home test about the recent topics, except I hadn't really been to uni this week and I'd forgotten all about it. And it was due on fri. perfect. Icing on the cake really. So I mumble and groan and ache for something to punch and set off for the computer lab to hopefully complete it (along with my assignment) in time, hopefully not doing too badly considering I hadn't looked at the notes at all. I sit down and realise..that I didn't know my password(what is it with all these passwords haunting me? I swear I only have like two passwords. The one I use for uni and one for everything else.) so I sit...and once again try every single wretched password I can think of...all to no avail. by now I'm banging my head on the table(ignoring the strange looks everyone in the lab is giving me) and trying to keep from crying and screaming and killing the ...computer. They had a thing where u could tell them if u forgot ur password, or if it stuffed up (which they said happened...so I maintain that's what happened to me) except that they said it could take up to 24 hours.........which I obviously didn't have. So panicking full blown now, I decided....well nothing I can do...so...I finished my assignment 15 min before it was due and handed it in. then I went back and once again thank you God they had changed the password so I did it...did really badly obviously cos I didn't know anything. but by that point I was too stressed to bother. So stress was my best friend this week. Well so far:P today helped:P one of my friend organised for a bunch of us to just hang out and have fun for my birthday. So that was good. And I got a pretty silver cross on a necklace. Which surprisingly, I've never had before. OOOHHH!!! And i...streaked my hair purple!!! Muahaha! well not really purple but like a red purple kind of thing. Except cos my hair's so dark it didn't turn out very well. So u can see like a tinge or shine and it'll show in the sun but it's not as obvious as I wanted it to be. Which is fine considering this is the first time a dye has touched my hair.(incredible considering I come from Singapore) muahaha.
Well...all this got me thinking about how humans can be remarkably adaptable and resilient(cant find the word I need but these will suffice). I mean just yesterday I feel like screaming and crying and dying and today I'm fine, quite dandy in fact :P. I suppose u can say fickle... but I reckon humans can put up with a lot, survive and live on. And if you think about how amazing we are...think about who created us, and how amazing He would be. Like this quote I read
"People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering." --St Augustine
I get stressed and tired, but I have friends to distract me and help me relax. I get hurt and depressed, but I have friends to make me laugh and comfort me. I get angry and hate, but I have friends who help me see reason and love. And most of all, I fall, into darkness and nothingness and emptiness that nothing and nobody seems to able to get me out of, but I have a God to shelter me, and help me fly.
8:56 pm
alone* in the rain;
