3:43 pm
alone* in the rain;
i love doing these tests, some hit the spot and some dont even come close to the board. this i found interestingYour #1 Match: ISFP
The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.Your #2 Match: INFP
The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.Your #3 Match: ISFJ
The Nurturer
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.Your #4 Match: ISTP
The Mechanic
You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent.To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.
You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.Your #5 Match: ESFP
The Performer
You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.
You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.
11:13 pm
alone* in the rain;
nooo...i missed all these sales...and i need track pants. humbug. i need pocky..mmm.....food....snacks needed to study...sigh. need to go shopping tomoro. but i've missed all these sales! grrrr...try and find more...need pocky...quite random am i...
10:32 pm
alone* in the rain;
posted another poem on my randoms in (duh) the poems section. added new thoughts in...u guessed it...the thoughts section
10:01 pm
alone* in the rain;
ok...me's has been told to update. So me shall:P i hate doing this in word...it comes out all wierd
Ick...my computer keeps hanging, and I keep losing what I've written for my blog...
GAAAHHH!! And I have the most majorsome headache...it hhhuuurrrtttssss!!! Well...long story...I was doing a hand stand, but I haven't done one for a long long time so when I went into a roll I didn't go down enough and I whacked my head on the ground. Quite quite hardly I assure you. Yes...the pain...and now the headache...bah...and I was going to be a good girl and study tonight. Still might do that... cos exams in a month and I have no idea what chem is about. Too physicsy for me. And I've been so slack, skipping classes and stuff. Horrible...still dunno what I'm doing with this degree...plus I need a job...grrr
And I'm having friend issues atm too. Well more my friends are having issues, and I'm trying to patch it up but they've both decided they couldn't be bothered anymore. And all over silly misunderstandings. Isn't that always the case though?...sigh...
Ooohhh!!! And I watched star wars today!!! SSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!! I feel like crying. When the clones betrayed the poor jedi and they all died, and Anakin killed all the kids who had trusted him and ahhhhh!!! “ you were the chosen one!!” noooo!!! Sooo saaaaaaaaaaddd!!! I know it's just a movie...but it's soo saaadd!
*cough cough* ok...over that now...
I need to watch 4-6 now. Haven't really seen them*shock horror from ardent star wars fans* smheh... oh my poor head...
Ooo...and directions auditions on Sunday. Ahem ahem...for those uncivilised beings who know not what directions is (probably because I never mentioned it:P) it's my church's musical company. And josh (who's like the person who write the scripts and songs and music and everything... incredibly talented guy) um...still hasn't finished writing it...tho he's getting there. It's got like a circus and cabaret style to it...so the auditions are for like dance and acrobatics (or gymnastics type things) as well as vocals. And I'm trying for all of them...quite ambitious no? they also want a few girls to do the ropes(tissue) and trapeze stuff which they teach in this circus place. Sounds sooo cool!!! And I'd really like to learn it. too many things I want to do. Hope I get a part. They tend to be a bit biased... and this select group always gets chosen...but hopefully this time they'll be a bit more open. Nervousness...what if everyone's better than me...which they probably will be. Ahhh!! It'll be a good way to keep fit too:P I'm gonna be so cut if I don't get into anything. oh dear...it's called having expectations that are too high:p smheh...I shall hope :P
Ok...must stretch and do pt so I can do gynasticky things...haven't done it for like 3 yrs...I cant even do a bridge anymore!! It's horrible. At least I can still do things with my equipment. Ok my head's really bothering me so i'm gonna stop. I shall update....um....sooner or later :P
9:12 pm
alone* in the rain;
for you, my very first best friend
friends forever
remember i love you
And she sits in the corner
the girl with the pretty eyes
but those eyes that use to shine with happiness
are dark and dulled
full of pain
of loss
the frail eyelids not holding back
cold, salty tears
determined to seep out
leaking from the cracks in her weeping heart
shadows flicker across her face,
their almost joyful dance a parody
to the storm of sorrow
and angry agony inside
her full lips are thinned and pale
tightly pressed together
as if trying to prevent the heart-shattering scream
lodged permanently in her throat
from escaping
and she wants to run
she wants to hide
can't show the hurt
can't show her weakness
she wants no one to see her cry
it has always been so
all she wants is to be left alone
for now
all she needs is time
and space
the wounds will heal
though the scars will always stay
and perhaps someday soon
she will be okay
her tears will dry
and the wind will blow the clouds away
and perhaps someday soon
the sun will shine
and the girl in the corner
with the pretty eyes
will look up
and smile.
10:30 pm
alone* in the rain;
i know it's a long post, and most of it's whinging...but i do come round in the end...as always :P
you know u love me:P
oh and by the way if the colours are wierd...aint my fault, my computer doesnt have red, so i cant really see the colours i picked:P
10:41 pm
alone* in the rain;
well...what can i say. horrible week
disgusting really.
the stressedness
not fun
really not fun.
it all started...with my blasted computer. i swear if i didnt need it it would be lying in shattered pieces with a deranged me standing over it with an axe laughing hysterically. i have...issues....with computers. its mutual. believe me...it's mutual. anyways..first my stupid computer decides it wants to assign me a password, one being something i really doubt i would have put in since i generally only use one or two(knowing i'd forget) even tho i know it isnt really safe. smheh i say. well i tried all the nonsensical things i could think of, which all didnt work so i couldnt get into my computer. so...mildly panicking by this point i ask poor mingdao(who had to contend with a very stressed housemate this week) who made some suggested that unfortunately didnt work. then i go online(on his computer, duh..) and ask poor matt and scott, who i turn to for all this kind of stuff cos they seem to actually know about it. and i find out i probably have to re-install windows, possibly losing my files. so i re-install windows, prancing back and forth between our rooms as i talk and try to figure out how to work the silly thing. thank you God it worked, and i didnt lose my files. but still...fairly stressful. then, i borrow 13 humongous books on the great barrier reef cos I had a 2000 word assignment due on fri. except I have no idea how to write a geog essay, much less on sustainability(human geog not being one of my fav subjects so don't ask me why I'm even doing this stupid course). So, that keeps me occupied the whole week(during which the computer thing happens) and on thurs, another wonderful computer literate person comes over to try to figure out why my spasticated network card doesn't work and I cant use the internet(hence having to use poor mingdao's computer) thank you God again, he sort of fixed it, tho it's still really temperamental and just decides to konk out on me when I'm having important conversations or doing important geog assignments... So...stay up all thurs night working on my assignment (interesting how working and thinking through the night is so much more tiring than just staying up with friends or reading a book. Guess ur brain just sucks up the glucose hey...) anyways, fri. get to uni, do a bit of my assignment, planning to go for a chem lecture since what was being taught was physics related so I had no idea what anything meant. Thinking about chem. And where my lecture was...plus what day it was...and I go...CMT!!!! Which is a computer managed test which we have to do for chem., where basically u have a take home test about the recent topics, except I hadn't really been to uni this week and I'd forgotten all about it. And it was due on fri. perfect. Icing on the cake really. So I mumble and groan and ache for something to punch and set off for the computer lab to hopefully complete it (along with my assignment) in time, hopefully not doing too badly considering I hadn't looked at the notes at all. I sit down and realise..that I didn't know my password(what is it with all these passwords haunting me? I swear I only have like two passwords. The one I use for uni and one for everything else.) so I sit...and once again try every single wretched password I can think of...all to no avail. by now I'm banging my head on the table(ignoring the strange looks everyone in the lab is giving me) and trying to keep from crying and screaming and killing the ...computer. They had a thing where u could tell them if u forgot ur password, or if it stuffed up (which they said happened...so I maintain that's what happened to me) except that they said it could take up to 24 hours.........which I obviously didn't have. So panicking full blown now, I decided....well nothing I can do...so...I finished my assignment 15 min before it was due and handed it in. then I went back and once again thank you God they had changed the password so I did it...did really badly obviously cos I didn't know anything. but by that point I was too stressed to bother. So stress was my best friend this week. Well so far:P today helped:P one of my friend organised for a bunch of us to just hang out and have fun for my birthday. So that was good. And I got a pretty silver cross on a necklace. Which surprisingly, I've never had before. OOOHHH!!! And i...streaked my hair purple!!! Muahaha! well not really purple but like a red purple kind of thing. Except cos my hair's so dark it didn't turn out very well. So u can see like a tinge or shine and it'll show in the sun but it's not as obvious as I wanted it to be. Which is fine considering this is the first time a dye has touched my hair.(incredible considering I come from Singapore) muahaha.
Well...all this got me thinking about how humans can be remarkably adaptable and resilient(cant find the word I need but these will suffice). I mean just yesterday I feel like screaming and crying and dying and today I'm fine, quite dandy in fact :P. I suppose u can say fickle... but I reckon humans can put up with a lot, survive and live on. And if you think about how amazing we are...think about who created us, and how amazing He would be. Like this quote I read
"People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering." --St Augustine
I get stressed and tired, but I have friends to distract me and help me relax. I get hurt and depressed, but I have friends to make me laugh and comfort me. I get angry and hate, but I have friends who help me see reason and love. And most of all, I fall, into darkness and nothingness and emptiness that nothing and nobody seems to able to get me out of, but I have a God to shelter me, and help me fly.
8:56 pm
alone* in the rain;
i have decided to have a different place to put my random thoughts or quotes or poems and so on. link is randoms and can be found on my profile page. just so no on gets worried most of the poems i wrote a while ago. or something or other:P and they're just an expression of how i was feeling at the time. it's not how i feel all the time. it was just something that i wrote, not really knowing what i was writing, but feeling i had to write it down. so yeah:P
5:08 pm
alone* in the rain;
